FORMAT: In pairs for 30 minutes to 60 minutes, standing in the room.

PURPOSE: Building matrix to hold more consciousness. Breaking down the wall that

is our story that stands between two people, in order to create more connection and

intimacy.

INTRO/BACKGROUND CONTEXT:

There are various ways to block connection and intimacy. Creating an unconscious

story about someone else is one efficient way. Often, we don’t even know that we

make up story about other people. This process is to make those stories conscious

and put them on the table.

PROCEDURE:

Explain the procedure of the process and make the Map at the same time.

I Have A Story About You Page 1 out of 2

This process has 5 steps:

1. Walk in the room and meet someone, then say “Hello. I have a story about

you: I feel (mad, sad, scared, glad) that you ...” and tell them the story about

them.

Hint 1: It could be that you think that you don’t have a story about the person

across from you. By saying the magical sentence “I have a story about you…”

the story will reveal itself to you.

Hint 2: A story has feeling, be sure that the participants also say the feelings.

2. Human beings are exceptionally smart creatures. We make a story first and

then we look for evidence to support our story. The world is so full of evidence

that anybody can find any evidence to support any story. The second step of

the process is to reveal the evidence: “... and my evidence to support my story

are... (you did this, you said this, with this tone of voice, you look like, etc.)”

3. Why do we make a story about someone? Because there is an unknown, a

piece of information missing. What feeling do we feel when something is

unknown? Fear. The third step of the process is to reveal the fear behind the

story: “... and the fear behind my story is …”

4. Holding on to a story has a shadow purpose, a benefit that feeds our Gremlin.

The fourth step of the process is to reveal the pay-off/the benefit you got out

of holding on to that story: “... and the benefit/payoff for my story is…”

Hint: The shadow payoff is part of your underworld, this is where you will have

to look to find it. This is often the hardest part of the process for people who

do not have the habit of travelling into their underworld.

5. The fifth step is to ask the person who you are telling the story: “What do you

think about my story?” The person receiving the story can then tell if the story

was accurate or not or some part were, other weren’t, what touched them,

etc...